I didn't want my mom to take the picture because I was about to cry. I was looking into M's starved, skinny, sunken little face, and I was thinking, "I have failed. I have failed you!" This should have been a special moment, the first time I had M in my arms. But, when I see it, I feel a crush of sadness. I can see the pain I was trying to hide. It is right there, on my face.
This photo breaks my heart.